Ten things we’ll never understand about Singapore

People sneer at Singapore for being too well run – an attitude also directed at Switzerland, with which it’s often compared. But that’s just the prejudice of tourists who expect other people to be poor, disorganised and colourful for their own selfish entertainment. What exactly is bad with a nation being clean, organised and efficient? Is there something wrong with well-behaved, law-abiding people? Or great public transport? Or strict regulations that prevent you eating unhygienic food?

Great bars

Singapore has a terrific bar scene, so why doesn’t it get much recognition for it? Perhaps because its bars sit at the sophisticated end of the spectrum, far from the haunts of lager louts and hen parties. They aren’t boisterous, they aren’t weird like some in Japan and they aren’t cheap. But three of them are among the world’s 50 best bars for 2023 (Jigger & Pony, Sago House and Atlas) and others employ internationally renowned bartenders to create innovative cocktails.

Food origins

If you want to start a culture war in Singapore, ask where its dishes come from. With its Chinese, Indian, Malay, European and other influences, almost every dish is a multi-ethnic melange, but that doesn’t stop Singaporeans attempting to discern (or invent) origin stories. Hainanese chicken rice, Hainanese pork chop, laksa, fish-head curry and the delicious dessert Singapore cendol are all fusion dishes. With food this good, who cares? Nationalism is greatly overrated. Tuck in.

Speaking Singlish

What’s with the Singaporean government’s war on Singlish? It has been battling the distinctive form of English since the 1970s to absolutely no avail. And thank goodness. Singlish, liberally peppered with words from Malay, Tamil and Chinese dialects, and influenced by their grammatical patterns, is wonderful. So get into asking “What to do, lah?” , “Eat here, can?” and “You leave now, is it?” And who wouldn’t want to use the term “yaya papaya” for someone up themselves?

Winter clothes

Most of the year, Singaporeans waft around in impeccably ironed white shirts while travellers are invariably crumpled and sweaty. To add insult to our overheated foreignness, locals start hauling on cardigans, hoodies and coats in the December-March rainy season, even though the temperature drops only a degree or two. The coldest night-time temperature? About 25 degrees, which produces a spate of “cold weather” fashion articles in local media. So haul on your anorak: at least your sweat won’t show.

Baffling abbreviations

Singaporeans like nothing better than acronyms and initialisms: it feels like they’re speaking a science-fiction language. You’ll encounter the first as your taxi heads down the ECP (East Coast Parkway) from the airport. Other expressways are seldom referred to by their full names either: the BKE, CTE, KJE and PIE. No car? Hop on the MRT (Mass Rapid Transit) or use the SBS (Singapore Bus Service) to places such as CCK (Choa Chu Kang) or AMK (Ang Mo Kio).

Crazy Rich Asians

Quite why this dreadful 2018 movie, set in Singapore, garnered so much attention is baffling: it’s kitschy, corny, badly written and poorly acted. It was touted as “proving” an all-Asian cast could carry a movie, as if great Asian movies simply didn’t exist. (Try Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and Farewell my Concubine if you really want to know what an outstanding “Asian” movie is like.) And did it reverse stereotypes of Asians in Hollywood movies, or just produce new ones?

The writer has travelled to Singapore courtesy of Singapore Tourism and several tour companies and hotels.